One day at a TIme

Taking it one day at a time is key in helping to stabilize your mood. You will never be able to control factors outside of yourself such as job stress, family concerns or even that rude driver that cuts you off on the freeway. However, what you do have some control over is the way that you respond to a situation.

Even though bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, with the proper treatment one can learn to control, at least in part, their reaction to outside stimuli. When a rude driver pisses me off on the freeway I can respond by yelling and screaming, which used to be typical for me, or by recognizing that I had no control over the situation and forgetting about it. While this may not be possible in all cases learning about the things that contribute to your mood upsets can go a long way in helping how you determine your response to them.

Sometimes it may feel like the whole world is crashing down. In fact I know that feeling quite well and have experienced it recently but through the crying, self doubting and feelings of devastation I have to continue to reassure myself that things will in fact be okay, maybe not great, but okay none the less. Sure I still felt all of these emotions and to an extent I still do, but just today I had one of my graduate professors tell me that I need to remember that there is nothing that can't be undone. We may not be able to change the past and the way we have previously responded to certain situations but we can change the way that we want to handle them in the future.

I still cry and yell and scream from time to time because I have also learned that sometimes you cant suppress the emotion and you just have to let yourself feel it. I may say that learning to control this disorder means one day at a time but sometimes it may feel like you are living minute to minute and that is expected. No one can be perfect all the time but you should not let one bad reaction determine your next reaction.

When in doubt or feeling overwhelmed talk to somebody, anybody that will listen and help you regain control over your emotions and yourself.

People's Perceptions

People's perceptions can sometimes be the hardest thing to deal with when you have bipolar disorder. Since so little is know about the disorder it is not uncommon that people think really negative thoughts about not only the disorder itself but the person who has the disorder.

I have found that responses generally fall along a spectrum of feelings that range from fear to hostility. The feelings of fear might originate from a misunderstanding of what the disorder really is and being afraid of the mania which causes a person to act out of control or of the depression and the possible that their loved one might commit suicide. The hostility on the other hand can be a denial of the realities of the dangers their loved one faces. However, there is also the love, support and understanding that you may get from other people so it is important not to let the bad take over.

Personally I think I have encountered just about every emotion across the spectrum. My parents are extremely supportive but I think deep down also a little scared. I live pretty far from them so they don't have the opportunity to see me on a regular basis. Since I was diagnosed I have only seen them a hand full of times. I plan to move home shortly and I think they are a little afraid of what to expect. They say that they have noticed a difference in my personality since I have been on medication and it is for the better.

My close friends who know about the disorder have been the most helpful. When I feel like I am having an "episode" I am able to talk with them about the way I am feeling and it is a tremendous help. They can't replace my doctors but because they know me so well it is easy for them to remind me of the good times when I am feeling overwhelmed with depression and to talk me down when I feel out of control. They have no judgement and always treat me with respect.

On the negative end of the spectrum would be one of my roommates who uses my disorder as a way to be a jerk. He is not the best roommate by far and when it comes time to address his not so great roommate behavior he often finds it necessary to say with disgust "what are you off your meds today". It makes me feel like less of a person because of my disorder and goes right to the heart of my fear about being labeled as a person who is "on" medication. But I have come to learn that he is only one person and no matter what he thinks or feels I have way more people in my life who support me than don't.

What I have yet to negotiate is how I will deal with my disorder in the working arena. For each individual with this disorder it will be a personal decision. Some people choose never to tell their employer that they are bipolar while some people choose to be upfront about it just in case they have an episode that might affect their work performance.

Regardless of what other people think the most important thing is how you think of yourself. As I have said before being bipolar does not mean that you are crazy and really is there such a thing as being normal? Just think about it.

Bipolar II

Bipolar II Disorder is a milder form of Bipolar disorder ONLY in the fact that the episodes of mania are often less frequent and/or milder, however, the episodes of depression are often more frequent and more severe.

This type of bipolar disorder is often mis-diagnosed and/or under diagnosed because the patient is often seen as "high-functioning" during times of mania. This means that the periods of mania that a person experiences does not visibly interfere with their daily lives. What can be surprising is that the periods of depression are often severe enough that a person may experience thoughts of suicide and family and friends may not even know that their loved one is sick.

As previously mentioned there are a number of different medications available on the market to help treat bipolar disorder but there are also a number of non-medication therapies that can be useful as well. Some of these include: social rhythm therapy, interpersonal therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, psycho-education, light therapy, and family-focused therapy. It is important to note that relapses can occur and are expected even with continued treatment.

Personally I chose to use behavioral therapy along with a blend of medications that include Lamictal and Serequel. It took me almost a year and a half and several trips to the ER to find a combination of medication that would work effectively for me. The problem for me was not the medication itself but rather the side effects. Since each person reacts differently to an individual drug the number and occurrences of side effects will vary. I found that I was allergic to one, had severe stomach upset with another, hives with yet another, and even drowsiness that prevented me from functioning on a daily basis with another! Yet despite all of this I persisted in my efforts to find something that would eventually work for me. It helped to have a doctor who was committed to my well-being.

A video on treatment through psychotherapy:

YouTube/AnswerTV

Diagnosing Bipolar Disorder

One of the most difficult aspect of bipolar disorder is getting an accurate diagnosis. Since bipolar disorder is primarily a mood disorder it often becomes the responsibility of the patient to talk with their doctors openly and honestly about the way way they feel and the changes in mood that they experience. For some people they have already suffered several episodes of mania, hypomania, or depression and may already be under the care of a physician or psychologist thus making it easier to diagnosis the disorder.

Some things to consider and take notes on when visiting your doctor or psychologist are the following:

• Your mental and physical health concerns
• Symptoms you’ve noticed
• Unusual behaviors you’ve had
• Past illnesses
• Your family history of mental illness (bipolar disorder, depression, mania, seasonal affective disorder or SAD, or others)
• Medications you are taking now and in the past (bring all medications to your doctor’s appointment)
• Natural dietary supplements you are taking (bring your supplements to your doctor's appointment)
• Your lifestyle habits (exercise, diet, smoking, alcohol consumption, recreational drug use)
• Your sleep habits
• Causes of stress in your life (marriage, work, relationships)
• Questions you may have about bipolar disorder

Your family history can play an important role in diagnosing bipolar disorder since mental illnesses can often be genetic.

Take a look at Wikipedia for more in depth information and here is some information from WebMD:

In making the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, the psychiatrist or other bipolar expert will ask you questions about your personal and family history of mental illness and/or bipolar disorder. Also, the doctor will ask detailed questions about your bipolar symptoms. Other questions may focus on reasoning, memory, ability to express yourself, and ability to maintain relationships.

Some serious illnesses such as lupus, HIV, and syphilis may have signs and symptoms that mimic those of bipolar disorder, causing a delay in making a diagnosis and improper treatment.

In addition, numerous studies show the prevalence of anxiety disorders in those with bipolar, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, phobic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If left untreated, each of these co-occurring disorders can cause unnecessary suffering and impairment.

For me, getting a diagnosis of bipolar II disorder was long overdue. I had been having symptoms of of hypomania and depression for several years. Sometimes the episode would last for months and I had no way of controlling my mood swings. When I finally started seeing a psychologist I had been suffering from an extreme bout of depression and had reached the point where I needed outside help to pull myself out of it. It took several month of going through my family history and talking about past episodes before a final diagnosis had been made. Once my doctor and I had reached an agreement on the diagnosis we began to explore treatment options (mentioned in a previous post).

The key to getting the right diagnosis is persistence, don't give up until you feel as though your needs have been met and agreed upon. You always have a say in your ultimate diagnosis by a professional.

Here is another webisode from youtube that you can take a look at regarding diagnosis, AnswersTV

Where to begin...

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder (more on this later) a little over 2 years ago. I am fortunate to now have this disorder under control, but, the road here has not been an easy one.

There are a number of different treatment options for someone with Bipolar Disorder, the most common being therapy and drug treatment. From my experience it is usually a combination of the two that is often used for long term treatment.

I began my course of treatment almost immediately after I was diagnosed and chose the combination of the two. I had already been in therapy some time before my official diagnosis so continuing this seemed as a "no brainer". It was starting medication that made me nervous. Through talking with my doctor it had been brought to my attention that if I started medication therapy it was likely that I would need to continue it for the rest of my life. Thats a long time! I wasn't sure how I felt about being someone who was "on" medication and how that might change the way that people perceive me.

Little did I know that there are a number of different medications that can be prescribed for this disorder. Some of these specifically target the mania and others the depression, often it is a combination of drugs that is needed to create a balance in an individual. The problem with this is that because there are so many drug treatments available it can take a long time to find the right combination and in my case a LOT of side effects.

*For goodness sake please do not try any kind of drug therapy without being under the care of a doctor!!

Some of the common drugs treatments include:

Abilify

Celexa

Depakote

Effexor

Klonopin

Lamictal

Paxil

Prozac

Seroquel

Wellbutrin

Xanax

Zoloft

Like I said there are a number of different choices and these are only the most popular, there are many many more that are not listed here. For someone who thinks they might have or have already been diagnosed with bipolar disorder talking with a doctor is the best first step you can take.

Another great video on the drug treatments for Bipolar Disorder

YouTube/AnswerTV

To be continued.....

First things first...

I figured that I would start off by offering the typical standard definition of bipolar disorder:

"Bipolar disorder or manic–depressive disorder (also referred to as bipolar affective disorder or manic depression) is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood. These moods are clinically referred to as mania or, if milder, hypomania."

See Wikipedia

Now when I first heard this definition I was more than a little lost so don't be surprised if you are left saying "what?". This all sounds like a lot of medical jargon and truth be told a little scary when we read things like "psychiatric" and "manic depression", there is a lot of negative connotation associated with these words. The important thing to know is that is doesn't mean you (or someone you know) is "crazy", at least not because they are bipolar!

From what I have come to understand this disorder primarily affects a person's mood and is often characterized by someone having extreme mood changes from good to bad and vise versa. However, this doesn't mean that every girl with a sudden case of PMS has bipolar disorder.

Someone experiencing a state of mania may do things that seem out of the ordinary for their typical personality, have grand ideas, or even go as far as thinking they can defy normal things like death. The other side of this disorder is the depression. For some people it can get so bad they can't get out of bed and at their worst may even consider suicide.

Now while this disorder can have some scary moments it doesn't mean that it can't be controlled. In fact, most people wouldn't even be able to recognize someone with the disorder who has things under control. I hope I am one of those people.

Here is a great video that offers a brief overview of the disorder:

YouTube/AnswersTV